Over the past few years, I have not utilized this blog as much as I had hoped. I don’t have any good excuse really except that life happens and gets busy. I am a person that has to, HAS to, slow down and take the time I need to rest. I cannot function well for long without it (especially the older I get lol). So, when life is a little busier, some of my favorite things to do get neglected a little. One of those is making time for writing. I love to read, and I love to write, and I also love to talk so it makes sense that I would have a lot to say right? Well, in my opinion I am better at writing my thoughts than I am actually saying them out loud. I do love to talk but if you get me talking about things I love like Jesus, my husband, my family, etc. I’ll just cry and then it’s kind of hard to understand what I’m saying.

That is why I chose to start a blog and share some of my thoughts and all the many ways God has blessed us. When I was a kid, I wrote in my journal every day and I thought it would be really cool to someday write a book, but I was young then and most of what I wrote about was boys, my friends, the Backstreet Boys, and Michael W. Smith. Now that I have lived a little more, I feel like I have more of a story to tell, more specifically a story for my husband, Randy and I to tell. I have put it off for a long time but in the past few months I have felt the nudge a little more and I have had people encourage us lately to share our story, so this is me saying I want to, and I am working on being more intentional about it.

Not many people follow this blog, which is most likely due to the fact that I rarely post but today I am feeling the need to get some feelings out. I may not write as often as I want to and if I write a book someday there’s a chance that very few will read it but if one person reads something I write and feels encouraged, feels God’s love, feels like they really needed to hear it, then I will have done what I set out to do. I only want to share what God has done throughout my life and Randy’s life and how He brought us together and continuously blessed us and sustained us through the ups and downs of everyday life.

So, to start off this journey I’m going to go backwards and instead of starting at the beginning of my life or the beginning of Randy and I’s marriage, I’ve decided to just tell you about today with a little context of the past few months.

In December of last year Randy had a stent put in the left side of his heart. The many tests taken at the hospital indicated that his heart had already had the heart attack probably in the previous week and he was now feeling the effects of a widow maker heart attack that should have killed him. Only 12% of people survive a widow maker and Randy is one of them. Basically, the whole left side of his heart had blockage and the bottom of his heart wasn’t working. The doctor who put the stent in said there is no medical explanation why he survived except that God decided it was not his time yet.

Before Randy was released from the hospital, they set up an appointment for him with a cardiologist in a couple days. When we saw the cardiologist, he explained what had happened with Randy’s heart. He even drew us a picture to show us what part of the heart he was talking about, etc. He’s a great doctor, we love him. One of the things he told us that day was that Randy’s heart was working at 30%. Normally our hearts are working at 50-55% and when it gets to 30% they start talking about the need for a pacemaker. So the doctor told Randy in the next 3 months he needed to work on strengthening his heart so that hopefully it will be strong again and not need a pacemaker.

So that is exactly what Randy did. We changed our food choices and habits, and he went to cardiac therapy 3 times a week for 3 months. This was tiring and not always easy, especially while also working full-time jobs. I will not get into it all right now (it’ll have to be another post for another day) but we could not have done it without the cooperation, understanding, and grace from our employer. They have been so so good to us. They really encourage Randy to take care of himself first and then worry about work.

Randy has really worked hard at doing everything he could to get his heart healthier and all while still feeling the fatigue that we all have come to learn hangs on after having Covid (yeah, he had Covid too which is also another post for another day lol). I am so proud of how much he has stuck to his diet and exercising and how he has encouraged me to eat healthier too.

Today it has been 3 months, Randy has finished his cardiac rehab and he went to the cardiologist today to get the results of his echocardiogram. His heart is now at 50%! Praise God!!

We were so happy to hear those words! God is so good!

I want to let you know something too, God is always good. Always good. Life is better with Him than it ever is without Him. I know that now on a good day and I knew it then when I was scared in the hospital wondering what was going on with my husband. I know God could’ve decided that it was Randy’s time, and that heart attack could’ve made me a widow. I honestly cannot even picture my life without Randy and I honestly cannot even come up with the correct words to explain how I’d feel if he were gone right now. I know I’d feel a little lost but I also know that I would have family and friends reminding me in my sadness that God is still good. Today we get to celebrate that Randy is still here and his heart is healthy and I am so thankful because of this but I also know that when the outcome is different and life breaks your heart, Jesus can heal it. He can pick up your broken pieces and remind you that you are loved and not alone.

We are called to show the world that we love like Jesus, that we care about people. We need to reach out to people in our life that need to see God’s love through us. We need the world to see a Christian that shows them grace and love. Someone that they enjoy being around and come to for encouragement. Randy has a good heart. He loves people. He is encouraging and uplifting and there are people in his life who do not believe the same as him, but they are drawn to his optimism. They come to him to let off steam or to get encouragement and sometimes they talk about Jesus. If they ask about what he believes about something he does not lie or water down the truth, but he lovingly shares with them what God has done for him throughout his life. This is how the world should see Christians, how they should see church people.

We need to be there for people, really love them, and let God effect their lives. We also need to live it and not just say the words. Randy is a pastor and up until recently when he needed to focus on his health, we pastored a small church for a little over a year. When I think of Ukraine, I cannot help but wonder what our lives would be like if we were over there living right now. Would we be staying with our church to care for those in need? Would we be running people to the border so they can escape Russia’s attacks. Would I be leaving the country and Randy staying behind to stay at the church? These are things the pastors, the missionaries, the Christians, and all of the people of Ukraine are dealing with right now. We need to let God effect our own lives too. We need to be there for those who need us and who may never agree with us, but they will know that they saw God’s love through us. Sometimes all we can do is sit down and pray but sometimes we need to do more and instead we sit down.

[Just a little side note, this is in no way a political post and I am not saying we need to go to war or anything like that. I’m simply saying we are called to love people and share the gospel with them and here in America we sometimes forget that other people risk their lives in order to have the freedoms we so easily take for granted.]