Shifting Priorities

Matthew 18:2-5 says “He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.” (NIV)

In the King James Version, verse 4 says “Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

The past few days I’ve been thinking about how the Bible says to pray without ceasing.

He wants us to praise Him, worship Him. He wants us to make a joyful noise to Him but the Bible says to pray without ceasing. He wants to talk to us regularly throughout the day. He wants a relationship with us. He doesn’t just want the worship to be focused on Him. He wants every moment to be focused on Him and what He can add to it. When God is with us, we cannot fail but we have to ask Him to come along with us, not just daily but in every moment of each day.

My father-in-law has not always attended church. He did when he was a kid but stopped sometime after that until more recent years. In the past few years that he has been back in church, I’ve heard him say several times that he talks to God out loud. I have been around to hear it sometimes too. I’m sure he sounds silly to some, talking out loud just to say “I hope it’s sunny today Lord” or “thank you for the sunshine” but he really feels God is right there listening to Him. His faith in some ways is still young but it’s so childlike.

As Christians we are to continue to learn and grow and become more Christ like as we mature in our faith but Jesus also said to be like the little children. Sometimes as we age and grow in our faith, we also complicate things more than they need to be. We need to mature and learn but also remember to be humble and eager to spend time with God, like a child eager to spend time with his daddy.

My father-in-law has been receiving a lot of compliments lately. His health is declining and family has been regularly visiting him and telling him how much they love him. He seems very thankful to see everyone and feel all their love but he also has had a lot of compliments from the staff of the hospital, rehab facility, etc. Everyone has been telling him, and us, how sweet he is and how much they’ve enjoyed getting to know him and care for him. He seems so surprised to hear them all talk that way. He’s so humble about it and just says thank you. He’s not sure why they’re saying that but I know why.

They say those things because it is partly their job but also because he jokes around with them, is light hearted and nice to them even when they’re getting on his nerves, which is hard to do when you don’t feel good. He has his moments like anyone when he’s irritable and wants left alone but he still shows them kindness. That’s why they say those things. It makes their very difficult job easier when their patient isn’t being mean or picking on them all the time.

I can’t help but see how Jesus has effected his life. How at one point we may have been unsure of the condition of his heart but now, even though his physical heart is failing, his spiritual heart is full of faith, childlike faith. He knows he doesn’t deserve forgiveness (none if us do) but he knows God has forgiven him and he will be with him in heaven. He is eager to be with Jesus. Eager to see his brother Jack again. Eager to know God more.

Are you eager to know God more? To spend more time with him? Is He a priority in your life?

I remember a time that my father-in-law didn’t go to church and didn’t talk about God. In the past few months, in the beginning of him starting to not feel well, he hated any time he had to miss church. Now as his health is declining, he hopes he can go one more time. What a change in priority. A simple change really. We sometimes think we have to make huge changes and all at once but really God calls us to just believe and to come to Him. Spend time with Him and choose to continue to grow closer to Him. Like a child who wants to be with and learn from their parents, we just have to be eager to spend the time building that relationship and allowing ourselves to grow.

Make Him your priority. You won’t regret it. All it takes is believing and a simple shift in priorities.

Disappointments

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how disappointing life can sometimes be and how we truly have to focus on the good in order to enjoy life. Sounds simple enough but it is really hard at times for some of us and it is nearly impossible for others. Sometimes life just surprises us with impossible obstacles, and we’re left wondering how we’re going to get through it all.

Something I think that can really feel unfair to me personally is that I am not a mother. I am a stepmom and I love my husband’s kids as if they were my own and being a stepmom does lessen the sting of not having my own biological children. I cannot say enough how thankful I am to have them and their father in my life. Still, not having children of my own was never part of the original plan.

I have loved kids my entire life and have babysat, worked in daycare or as a nanny off and on since I was 13. I’ve had many people tell me that I am so good with kids. I’ve been told I must have a lot of patience to work with children so much. Maybe I have patience with children, but I don’t have patience waiting to have a child of my own. I have always wanted to be a mom and I never really wanted to be anything else. A lot of people dream of being a teacher, doctor, artist, business owner, etc. but not me. I didn’t have career goals and I have no idea why I took college prep classes in high school. I had no intentions of doing any of that. I only wanted to be a mom.

As I am nearing my 40th birthday I have started to come to terms with the fact that it may not be part of the plan for me to have my own child. Though we continue to try, I’m starting to gradually let go of a dream I once held on to so tightly. If I were to get pregnant, there would definitely be some rejoicing around here, but I am starting to have more peace about the possibly that it may never happen.

I say I’m starting to come to terms with it because I honestly can say on most days I am fine and my life is full of too many blessings to count. However, I still have really tough days that I just have to cry through until I’m on the other side of it.

I have not been very vocal or public about any of this because as a whole, we as humans like to fix things. We hear a problem or wish, and we want to help it come true especially if it’s for someone we love. I am not bragging when I say this, but my husband and I have a lot of wonderful people in our lives. People who support us, pray for us, and give to us. We are truly blessed. We have many encouraging voices that remind us that it could still happen, and I know it still can, but I can’t make my whole life about it or I will be missing the blessings I currently have. I appreciate every person who has encouraged us in this but I also feel like I need to remind myself that things don’t always go according to plan and that’s OK.

I say all this to bring up that we all have disappointments in life. Some that are frustrating and discouraging and some that are just outright heartbreaking.

Maybe you have lost a child, through miscarriage or tragedy.

Maybe you have lived most of your life single and long for the right person to come along side you.

Maybe you have lost your spouse and you are finding that the days since they’ve been gone are long and sometimes unbearable.

Maybe you have tried for years to get pregnant and it’s just not happening.

Maybe you had dreams to have a huge family but have only been able to have one child.

Maybe you lost a parent, or you have an ill parent, and you are wondering how long you have left with them.

Maybe you’re struggling financially, and you just don’t know what to do anymore.

Maybe you yourself are sick or recovering and have to find a new normal in the midst of a diagnosis, treatment, or health condition.

Maybe you are single again and having to start over living a life much differently than originally planned.

The list could go on and on…there are so many things in this world that are hard. Some that discourage us and some that downright break our hearts. There is no telling this side of heaven why some things happen the way they do. Why do bad things happen? Why do we struggle sometimes? Why do we struggle to let go of things that are not for us right now or maybe at all?

All I can say is we’re human and imperfect and we all struggle to understand why things don’t go according to plan. We would like to have to all figured out but we’re not living in a perfect world here so we might as well get used to the ups and downs of life and try to find the good in it all.

What are the good things in life? You have to answer that yourself. What blessings do you have in your life that you know make your life better? Your friends? Your family? Your faith?

I know without my faith in God, I would struggle a lot more than I do with the way life goes sometimes. I also know that my husband is one of my greatest blessings because he constantly points me to Jesus. No matter what is going on around us he is saying God gave us this blessing, God will take care of this problem, God is with us through this trial. The bible is full of promises that God will never leave us or forsake us but having someone come beside me and audibly say it on a regular basis is a huge asset and blessing. Having people like this in your life is so important. People who remind you of the good in your life. I don’t mean people who tell you what you want to hear. That’s not what my husband does. He tells me hard truths with love and reminds me that God’s plan is better than any plan we can come up with ourselves.

I can honestly say it’s disappointing that we have not had a baby. I also can honestly say that we have fun dreaming of retirement and traveling and doing a lot of other things in the future. Whichever future is ours; I’ll take it and I’ll take all the blessings God has for me with it. My life with my husband, my family, my friends…all the good stuff, far outweighs all of the disappointments, letdowns, and pain. My life with Jesus far outweighs any trouble we have on this earth. I will live my life with the knowledge that someday I’ll spend eternity with Him and the things of this world will not matter anymore.

When you find yourself in dark times, when you’re feeling alone and forgotten, remember that God loves you and He can help carry your load if you let Him. He will never leave you and He will walk through the valleys with you. It is not always easy for anyone in this life but knowing God is with us does make life better. He can give us more than we could ever imagine, if we only take the time to recognize our blessings.

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